The main purpose of this blog is for a medium for myself as a ex Exclusive Brethren member and Agnostic/Atheist, to write down my thoughts and opinions of religious faith and matters of life.And maybe also as a way to maybe discuss these things with any others who might also desire to choose to do so.
Some folks might wonder why somebody might ever feel a need to do such a thing.And im quite sure there will be many folks who would find this practice kinda strange.Many people im sure would just be far to busy with many other things in their lives already taking care of any spare time that’s available.Bringing up children and general chores and responsibilities involved with that, maybe attending some gatherings with family or friends.Or then even just generally trying to find some time for getting involved in some sort of sports or special interest,while many folks would rather prefer to simply relax when ever possible.So yes i do totally agree as far as the norm goes, getting involved in spending time writing thoughts and opinions about matters of faith and life down on a blog will not seem so very normal to many people.
But then as a ex cult member right throughout your whole life, many ex cult members soon fully realize many things about their life and maybe even their personal attitude isn’t really quite so normal as many other folks. To try explain this feeling a little better if i can i`d say maybe its kinda like the same feeling somebody from a far away country with a very different culture might feel,when they move somewhere else that seems so very strange and unfamiliar to the life they knew.Add to that a great lack of adaption and social skills not learned through being born and brought up in a manipulative repressive confined religious cult though your childhood, when much of this type learning is usually done.So not only does a ex cult member kinda face trying to learn to live in a strange far away country with some very different culture than he/she is used to, the social skills most often usually learned in early childhood that help make humans positive and resilient etc have often been kinda suppressed and very subdued.These closed religious cults like the exclusive brethren cannot really afford to allow their children to learn these type of social skills that teach kids to all become resilient and positive in any situation which might arise,which is why as kids even though back then we went to normal schools we were often made to keep separate and not get involved too much with other kids.Specially after school we never were allowed to visit the homes of other kids to play or join sports clubs.Because had they allowed those practices these type of social skills learned that allow kids to learn to be resilient even in the face of strange situations, would in turn make it easier for these members of their cult to later move on and adapted to new situations outside their cult with relative ease.
So yes i don’t mind admitting i don’t really feel quite so very normal, in the sense of being like many others around me in this strange world ive tried to make a place for myself in since leaving the confines of this cult known as the exclusive brethren. For very many years i actually did mind admitting to being/feeling different.For many years in fact up until very recently i wouldn’t even let people know i was ex exclusive brethren.I only ever let those very few people i had known for some lengthy time know these things about me.To this very day i don’t really quite even fully understand yet why that was, and this is part of my reason for wring my thoughts down on this blog.Im still confused about many things about me even after being outside this cult now for thirty years or more.
Yes i know if some folks are reading this,they will be quietly asking themselves why doesn’t this strange person join sites with other ex ebs, surely there he would have a better chance of conversing with some others like himself and so have a better chance to gain some understanding.And yes i know, on general face value this does really seem kinda reasonable and very sensible and like a very great idea.And in most normal situations this would surely be the very best move to make.
But to be honest ive already tried taking this route that usually works well for many folks , and i will say this the group i joined is full of many very wonderful people.But i think its got to do with us ex members also develope outside this cult into a number of differing situations .And to put it blunt im now an agnostic/atheist, and one that’s become totally opposed to any type of repressive manipulation and control tactics . And well maybe that extent of freedom of thought just don’t run quite so well with the ideas of some ex cult member faithful folk who it soon became obvious like to be able to freely talk and have discussions about matters of faith and god etc. But who just still can’t really handle other people who are non believers who might want the freedom to make suggestions that maybe God doesn’t actually exist.People like me who are of the personal opinion that maybe the continued promotion of faith has allowed for many lives on this earth to basically be ruined and wasted away by the ongoing presence of all types of faithful people we are born to.
So yes i decided it didn’t really feel such a healthy place for me personally to venture.I could have remained with two choices, learn when to shut up, or speak up and cause others to become a bit sad sack and silent . Having to shut up and be very careful of what i said, to me reminded me far too much of still feeling like i was still trapped within an oppressive religious cult .And to be honest the more i think about it, it starts to seem to me that seems to be what faith in general really is. Take a look around, folks of faith everywhere just don’t seem to like hearing what they don’t want to be hearing, they want to control it if they can. They often are seen to like to separate off into all their own special little groups of people who happen to see life much the same way they do, put it this way gay folk sure know it doesn’t really take somebody to need to become exclusive brethren to still have some of the very same type of attitude of trying to control the lives and thoughts of other folk who might think and act differently.
So here i am on this little blog, my own little space out here in cyberspace, creating my own cult 🙂 where its plurry quite ok !, to be atheist/agnostic if we freaking want to be, and i will talk about the non-existence of God if feel it helps me try sorting out some of my own thoughts and confusion.Here i have a little place of my own where those frigging christians can be the ones instead to just go take a hike ! if they don’t like hearing what i talk about.And i will look in from time to time at some of what they discuss on their christian cult cyberspace where i sometimes still post as a guest, or else maybe just discuss my own thoughts and opinions of the way i see things on this blog here.
I have met some other agnostics and atheists already out here in cyberspace through commenting on their blogs etc, some of whom hopefully will pop in here to this blog from time to time and help me un-jumble my thoughts if possible. And i happen to know there is one or two and even a few more other ex ebs, who so happens are also agnostics and atheists also, so who knows maybe i will even hear thoughts and opinions from some of them also.