UNDERSTANDING DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS IN YOUR FAMILY

Frightening how many things, i feel i can really relate to, as i read through this information from University of Illinois, while i’m considering many experiences i’m mind fully aware of happening, within our family .

I recommend it to all other ex members of Cults to read through too.

I’ve been searching online, to try and find good information, so i might then be able to begin to gain better understanding, in regard to why i might have experienced so many things in life, of what occurred like they have.This piece of info, i feel, helped explain why/how

https://counselingcenter.illinois.edu/brochures/understanding-dysfunctional-relationship-patterns-your-family

Quote :

Many people hope that once they leave home, they will leave their family and childhood problems behind. However, many find that they experience similar problems, as well as similar feelings and relationship patterns, long after they have left the family environment. Ideally, children grow up in family environments which help them feel worthwhile and valuable. They learn that their feelings and needs are important and can be expressed. Children growing up in such supportive environments are likely to form healthy, open relationships in adulthood. However, families may fail to provide for many of their children’s emotional and physical needs. In addition, the families’ communication patterns may severely limit the child’s expressions of feelings and needs. Children growing up in such families are likely to develop low self esteem and feel that their needs are not important or perhaps should not be taken seriously by others. As a result, they may form unsatisfying relationships as adults.

Types Of Dysfunctional Families

  • One or both parents use the threat or application of physical violence as the primary means of control. Children may have to witness violence, may be forced to participate in punishing siblings, or may live in fear of explosive outbursts.
  • One or both parents exert a strong authoritarian control over the children. Often these families rigidly adhere to a particular belief (religious, political, financial, personal). Compliance with role expectations and with rules is expected without any flexibility.

There is a great deal of variability in how often dysfunctional interactions and behaviors occur in families, and in the kinds and the severity of their dysfunction. However,when patterns like the above are the norm rather than the exception, they systematically foster abuse and/or neglect. Children may:

end quotes (my bold)

I wont post it all.Its not my right to do so.Take a look yourselves.You wont regret it.You can even purchase the info yourselves for fairly cheap too, if you want to. There’s way more startling info in there, that i feel sure many ex cult members may feel like they can really relate to (i felt like as if the person was almost purposely writing stuff down of what was directed to me in person,to explain about so many aspects of my own life experiences)

Take a look.It soon become quite obvious, that the exclusive brethren group,is been involved in helping foster both abuse and neglect

And to top it all off,our government then rewards them,with right to claim charity status ?

How sick is that

The brethren are only but one group too, who have been actively involved in these aspect of abuse and neglect.Even within NZ, there are a number of other fundamentalist groups also involved in these same tactic of abuse and neglect of what help to promote family dysfunction as well.

This is due to religion being mollycoddled,treated as if its something “particularly” special,and therefore been freely allowed to do this.This is what really stinks

Our governments should all be ashamed of themselves

They allow this to happen. And then they put us back through the “wringer” again too,like whenever we cannot sleep or deal with our lives so well,or perhaps we find it real hard to even keep up with working for our incomes (due to PTSD and so on)

Shame of those people.They are the people who stand by silently with indifference.Much like what Pope Francis does too,and all the other so called main stream “caring” religious folk, also do as well .

Anyone involve in physical violence against children,usually gets penalized fairly quickly,and often in more ways than one.

Yet cults can still get off Scot free and can meter out as much psychological harm and torment as they decide to (and even if heartbroken hearts bleed out dry,there’s still no blood on the outside of what can ever be visibly observed by human eye.Therefore bystanders mirror neuron are unlikely to react either)

And our government will then help reward them,through charity status ?

Haaaa

And meanwhile Australian farmers lap up the hay relief through RRT, too,while congratulating RRT for acting “so caring”.And if the farmers happen to be aware that the sudden exclusive brethren outbreak act of charity, of what has only just begun happening over the last few years,is in fact more of a cunning PR plan to help conjure up public support, for eb cult.

The farmers still don’t mind one bit,so long as their own farming need is being catered for

And its already 2018

Note:

I think that the farmer aid is wonderful.

However whats questionable about it , is the reason behind why (PR campaign) the eb are now suddenly involved in offering aid to people they’d usually consider as worldly people.When truth is ,that they didn’t even bother to care ,themselves,to offer any aid to their own ex eb family .Such as these http://wikipeebia.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=14  . Plus the fact that they would also try to pay people to keep quiet about sex abuses, rather than address it decently  https://www.stuff.co.nz/world/australia/98220593/potential-witness-in-exclusive-brethren-sex-abuse-case-paid-to-remain-silent

They are busily trying to bury these dirty deeds. By conjuring up good will. Hoping that non brethren will also then be just as happy to turn a blind eye also too, and as such therefore be helping dismiss these dirty deed, on behalf of brethren RRT (So the relief doesn’t come totally free,no way,because the brethren expect , as part payment for RRT,for brethren to be able to have their guilt wipe clean)

Or otherwise, perhaps they would have already been busily addressing the harm they caused to loads of ex members?.A number of whom lost contact with their wives and children and grandchildren too,through shunning and excommunication

 

 

About ExEB

I'm a agnostic/atheist . Interested in learning more about science. I also am an "ex-member" of a group most publicly known within modern times, as the Exclusive Brethren. Whom are an off-shoot of the original Plymouth Brethren group. I'd say it likely my personality could possibly be described as quirky.You know ,as in being , unconventional , unorthodox , unusual, off-centre, strange, bizarre, weird, peculiar, odd, freakish, outlandish, offbeat, out of the ordinary, bohemian, alternative, zany I'm sure iv'e been classed as "crazy" . Many times But then, being born into a group like the exclusive brethren. Doesn't lend itself ? to tend to produce things considered as being "very normal" .Does it I escaped the Exclusive Brethren cult as a 15 year old teenager. Even since that time iv'e been trying to adjust to living life outside the cult. With much of my life being lived within the genre of "wild colonial boy" style. In the general sense of a church-rebel picking and choosing from role models who appeared within-life along the way. But as the exclusive brethren cult had traditionally maintained a general church-rule , of need to shun and totally excommunicate any ex member of their group.Treating such people as if they were dead. Thus this situation developed more to do with my need of following traditionally enforced church-rule , as apposed to it being so much about "life-choices". Certain emotional experiences, and parts of life in general, have led to me adopting a sense of low self esteem. Which is a situation i still deal with from time to time. Through my ongoing interest in science. I find i am able to gather more information to help me better understand my situation. Much about life for me, has often seemed like a massive puzzle.With many missing pieces.
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