Rural suicides don’t make the news….

Another comment from the wisdom of a callous minded believer (spoken in connection with continuing praises being  sung, in regard of charity effort of eb rapid relief team, RRT)

Quote :

Rural suicides don’t make the news….

end quote

Well likewise ….Neither do suicides caused by cults either


Few people care (that’s the way it appears to be anyway).So long as their own needs are being met.Even mainstream believers too.”Real” Christians evidently

Totally evil but sadly still would seem so .. Consider, how many “real” Christian do we ever see, or even hear,promptly helping us to ask for real honest based change, and reconciliation?

A man can even purposely hang himself off of a tree, within one of the church grounds too, church grounds owned by the particular cult involved of what had constantly caused him to feel so much sadness and grief, throughout his life,that he’d finally given up and had decided to commit suicide.See info here

Few non eb are ever heard to make any real fuss over that kind of suicide (IE:kind of suicide, of what’s caused through long standing drought-loss of natural human love and kindness)

Are they?

Rex took this action (hanging himself) upon himself, as a last resort, hoping that his action might then help to prompt ,more people, hopefully including real Christians perhaps too , to step up to the mark, to help see that all this ongoing  sadness and grief might stop 

I have first hand info (i heard about it straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak), from the mouths of his (Rex Curtis) brother and sister in law too, of which i had gained directly from them both when i was personally in their house,and in fact even staying there too myself at their home at that time in Auckland, while i were busily talking with them both, back within the time of the brethren review. (i don’t mind doing a polygraph lie detector test either,if need be,to help prove how i’m not lying about what i were told)

When i was told how Rex had committed suicide. I then right away inquired as to why Rex had ended up committing suicide

I was told that Rex had phoned up one morning, in a very distressed state, wanting to quickly speak with his brother (IE: the guy who’s house  i was at, and was talking too), but his brother wasn’t home right at the moment when Rex had phoned.So Rex’s sister in law,had received the phone message off of Rex,the message was to ask her husband (IE: Rex’s brother) to please try to ring back a.s.a.p

However Rex’s brother, when told about the distressed-state of the phone call from Rex, had decided to just wait awhile, and leave it until later on that night (IE fairly traditional brethren way of letting ex members sit and suffer for a little longer .So as to then also help render them even more needy and thus even more pliable for manipulation too)

But sadly, by then, it was already far too late . As Rex had already gone ahead and hung himself

So much for RRT ?

Its only rapid ,when trying to glean more PR browny points (brown nosing)


Its good that farmers are getting relief .Yes sure.No two ways about it. But even so, don’t expect us ex eb , (who care about our friends who died, and along with the continuing plight of lives of their non-eb parentchildren whom still live as well too)to allow the history of these suicides what were caused by the hash nature of the brethren cult.

To fade away and be forgotten. Simply because the general public may quite happily be payed-out with hay relief ?

No way

Not while there’s this lingering injustice of what still remain unattended to

Although i’m an atheist,anyway i still doubt Jesus would even wish for me to bother to go align myself, along side, many attendants of this, “real” Christian, cesspit of living dead (Matthew 7:15-20) .


Update 15.8.2018 :

An attempted suicide

I thought it important, that i’d also add another far earlier memory of mine, which also concern the same brother of Rex Curtis too. This was a time way way long before the eb review happen.It was back at a time many many years ago now, when i was a young boy of age perhaps somewhere between 8 or ten year old,or something like that, and of course while i were still a member within the eb cult.

I vividly remember this day, when one of my own brothers, was upset, and was threatening to hang himself , from off of a tree, which grew out behind the house of what we rented.A house of which were also only a few doors away too, from the house of which Rex’s brother and sister in law both owned together for many years.

Our mum or myself were unable to stop this brother of ours, from doing what he was doing.Nothing we said could help stop him.As you can imagine,we were both worried and upset ourselves too.So our mum sent me off, to have me to quickly go fetch Rex’s brother ,so as to have him to come back over,to our house, and help us.

Rex’s brother arrived ,and acted as if the situation was merely something to joke about.And in fact even soon told our brother ,of who was still up the tree trying to tie a knot to hang himself, that he was attempting to tie the hangman’s knot, in the wrong way.

Therefore more or less insinuating that the knot wouldn’t be likely to work properly, and so therefore our brother probably wouldn’t be able to do a good job of hanging himself very well either

But thankfully after some further discussion, and coaxing, the situation was finally defused. And our brother climbed back down.

After writing the story of Rex’s suicide ,yesterday, and in thinking about it some more since then.I then happened to also recollect this this other memory again.Not that ive ever forgotten it.I don’t think we ever do forget these kind of memory anyway.If anything,to try and lesson to occurrence of our nightmares, we subconsciously try and bury them

The point of me telling this memory, is to help highlight , that within the eb, there was always this lingering callous uncaring nature. Members of the cult too often didn’t know any better?. As they never learned to show compassion or empathy.Compassion and empathy wasn’t a good trait for any cult group to foster, when intending to clone cult members, whom would all even be fully prepared, to excommunicate family and learn how to think of those family members as if they were already dead?

In some ways, many of the cult members,themselves, are a type of victim,themselves too,victim of this nasty indoctrination of what include threat of eternal hell

I feel this must be so. As i know that our mother had wanted to care about us.But it was extreme fear,of threat of hell, of what had then caused her to turn toward self preservation mode 

Many people are victim of extreme fear. Consider how extreme fear of drowning, can then make a person who could become rescuer, freeze in fear, and therefore not even try to save someone else from drowning? (was it their fault they had fear of drowning?)

Or extreme fear of sharks, or wild animals ,and other things, can all have the same effect too ?


Update 16.8.2018 :

Another attempted suicide

Strangely since my last update, i posted 15.8.2018, i have now had another memory come back to me (i’m fairly sure ive already made mention this particular experience too,previously,on this blog here somewhere before now ).Why do i not ,always,be able to recollect all these memories, right away?.

Well,here is some information, ive just found, in regard to reason of what may help explain that phenomena?.See here

My first story toward the top of this page, with to do with a time within the brethren review,when i’d found out that Rex Curtis had committed suicide.And about what was said

Now i remember that some days later (perhaps only a week or so at most),while Rex’s brother and sister in law were off at brethren meetings, it was on either a Saturday or Sunday (feeling it was Sunday), my cell phone suddenly rang. At the other end of the phone, was my eldest brother, who lived with his family down in Gisborne.I’d not long been to visit and stay with this brother and his wife and children,as it was the time of the review.Then i’d traveled north to Auckland, with Rex’s brother and sister in law to stay with them awhile,and to also spend time their too, with our mum.

Anyway my eldest brother,phoned me on my cell phone, speaking in an extremely upset state of mind.Firstly he asked if i was alone (IE: inquired whether everyone else had gone off to the church meeting).He proceeded to tell me that Rex’s brother had demanded/directed that he wouldn’t ring me , while i were up their staying at Rex’s brother house(Rex’s brother is our brother in law).The general idea evidently was, that while i were staying there, the brethren including local priestly wannabe’s were intending to try and visit and talk me into returning back into fellowship within the brethren cult. Which in fact was exactly what i’d been already experiencing (IE: visits from brethren folk and wannabe Auckland Brethren-hierarchy) .

These demand had upset my brother (who since leaving the brethren, some years later on like perhaps 10 years, has since then now been diagnosed as being on spectrum of aspergers syndrome),for one thing my brother and myself hadn’t been able to be together for something like 25 to 30 years. And we had once been close brothers.In fact i had looked upon this brother kind of being like a father figure (our dad died at age 38 when i were 18 month).

Anyway, this brother was talking to me (worried of getting in trouble for ringing) in tone of voice that was highly upset.And soon told me that he’d swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills, some stage in the previous day/days, and had not long woken back up after sleeping for hours and hours on end, even to extent of causing his wife and children to have some fear that he might not ever reawaken again.

Naturally i was totally angry as hell.I was pissed off to hear of all what was going on secretly. Highly disgusted to know of the manipulation and lack of concern in regard to family well being.So angry in fact, that i told my brother to drive up to Auckland as soon as he felt able to do so, to come pick me up.

When Rex’s brother and sister in law returned home from the church meeting , i told them exactly how angry i felt.Perhaps the worse mistake i made ,then, was to let them know how i was about to be leaving their house as soon as possible,and in fact our brother was likely to be on his way up to Auckland,soon, so as to come pick me up.

Rex’s brother didn’t seem so worried about our brother’s, health,though. He soon rand up the local hierarchy, so as to have one of them come wait there at the house, to be there when our brother arrived in Auckland,to pick me up.Which is what happen.And the hierarchy of whom also has a long history of dealing with/manipulating my brother, proceed to give our brother the priestly working over as soon as he arrive

Me being me, i tried to remain courteous .As the particular priest/hierarchy was an elderly gentleman whom had been a well know fatherly figure to our elder brother ever since our own dad had passed away from bowel cancer.I allow the discussion to carry on as long as i could contain myself to listen to the manipulative discussion, which was about love and forgiving and God dieing on the cross for sins and so forth.But i could soon see, myself, that this pep talk was in fact causing our brother even more grief . I’d finally seen/heard enough, and i pretty much said, you back off now cause we are now both leaving. And so that’s exactly what happen

It was late afternoon as we left from Auckland . I drove as our brother so wasn’t feeling so well, in fact he soon told me how he’d even driven off the road and up onto the footpath, at one stage on his earlier journey north,to come pick me up.That would be because he was still feeling the after effect of having swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills, in days previously, in an attempt to just finally end it all, through suicide

Unbeknownst to me,while driving south i soon learn that in fact our brother has packed his building tools and as many belongings, as he could do, in the boot of the car we are driving. And about how he’s in fact intending to leave the brethren and run away to now come live with me

But i happen to love my brother and his wife and all their children and grandchildren too. So i’m obviously feeling like i’m also not about to let this family break apart.I talk our brother into returning back to Gisborne to see if we can both do something together to help repair the damage and try and find some way to reconcile this family. Because ultimately this is also what i wish for.I hadn’t killed the fatted calf, and rushed off up to Gisborne to go be among this family and become someone to help drive a wedge between family of whom i’d also never ever stopped loving, even although i hadn’t been allowed to see any of them,or have any contact at all either, for 25-30 years or so (up until the last few weeks)

I continued to try and do my best to try and help this family reconcile. But the lingering grief of what also stemmed from a number of passed grievances (but hey, that’s another whole story too, if i’m to do it any real proper justice in trying to help explain it. Far too much for me to deal with right now,here anyways.) as well too,was just way way too deeply ingrained.Too strong.Too ghastly.Too hurtful.Still “lingering” within their family unit,way way to raw.

I stayed for another week or two longer, at their house.Worked with them in helping assist wherever i could do.For as long as i felt able to deal with it. I watched as the mental health pills of what they had quickly gotten our brother to be medicated on,as soon as we arrive back down from Auckland, were twisting and contorting his face muscles more and more by the day.Those pills were so strong, that even his speech was becoming more and more slurred as each day passed by as well too?.The arguments never stopped.The ugly ill feeling that lingered stayed too strong, for me to bare any longer . I even by then felt myself falling into a deep sense of depression and despair as well too. Felt  helpless to help fix anything

So i soon got prepared to say my goodbye. Purchased a air fare ticket,and was dropped off at the airport by our brother and one his sons,said goodbye, and then i made my way back down south.

After then, the contact continued to became less and less again. It soon dawned on me, how i’d been fooled and used, how the love was only superficial 

Note: The above story, can be confirmed by my brother,who is now also an ex eb.And perhaps even by comparing and double checking dates, within his doctor records,to dates correlating with time of the brethren review

Brethren do not learn how to have freedom to feel love,compassion or empathy

That kind of freedom doesn’t suit the requirement of cult existence

About ExEB

I'm a agnostic/atheist . Interested in learning more about science. I also am an "ex-member" of a group most publicly known within modern times, as the Exclusive Brethren. Whom are an off-shoot of the original Plymouth Brethren group. I'd say it likely my personality could possibly be described as quirky.You know ,as in being , unconventional , unorthodox , unusual, off-centre, strange, bizarre, weird, peculiar, odd, freakish, outlandish, offbeat, out of the ordinary, bohemian, alternative, zany I'm sure iv'e been classed as "crazy" . Many times But then, being born into a group like the exclusive brethren. Doesn't lend itself ? to tend to produce things considered as being "very normal" .Does it I escaped the Exclusive Brethren cult as a 15 year old teenager. Even since that time iv'e been trying to adjust to living life outside the cult. With much of my life being lived within the genre of "wild colonial boy" style. In the general sense of a church-rebel picking and choosing from role models who appeared within-life along the way. But as the exclusive brethren cult had traditionally maintained a general church-rule , of need to shun and totally excommunicate any ex member of their group.Treating such people as if they were dead. Thus this situation developed more to do with my need of following traditionally enforced church-rule , as apposed to it being so much about "life-choices". Certain emotional experiences, and parts of life in general, have led to me adopting a sense of low self esteem. Which is a situation i still deal with from time to time. Through my ongoing interest in science. I find i am able to gather more information to help me better understand my situation. Much about life for me, has often seemed like a massive puzzle.With many missing pieces.
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