How Your Childhood Affects Your Relationships – The Attachment Theory

An interesting video (in my opinion) . While listening through ,i was trying to apply it in line with the kind of life what we had lived, as children, with parent of what were hitched up to a CULT.

The video begins by discussing that , quote:

A strong emotional and physical bond to one primary caregiver, in our first years of life, is critical to our development . If our bonding is strong and we are securely attached, then we feel safe to explore the world. We know that there is always that safe base to return to anytime. If our bond is weak we feel insecurely attached. We are afraid to leave of explore a rather scary looking world. Because we are not sure if we can return.

People who are securely attached are said to have greater trust, can connect to others, and as a result are more successful in life. Insecurely attached people tend to mistrust others, lack social skills and have problems forming relationships.

end quote

As i listen to this, i right away realize it discussing issues that I am  acutely aware of. Even although our mum was a good mum. Due to Cult membership, attachment was still going to be difficult. For our whole family. And even our extended family too (cousins and so on)

Our dad passed away before i were two, then by the time I were aged 4 or 5, i vividly remember how we had been directed/ordered/coerced into throwing out one of our sisters who had begun a relationship with the non eb neighbour of ours, of who was Chinese

I loved this sister ,like how I also loved all my siblings. When one of your parents have passed away while you are still extremely young, although you mightn’t yet completely understand what has occurred, you’ll still sense that something “dramatic” has happened. I know for sure how i certainly did. I have an empath personality, and I sure as hell sensed that there was some emotional shit what had gone down in our household. There was a sense of loss and sadness lingering, and then screaming, and yelling, and tears and even fighting and violence too.

Anyway, by the time i turned 4 or 5, it then came time that our mother was issuing our sister, with an ultimatum, for her to need to leave our house. Because of her relationship, with a non exclusive brethren

This was my first experience of Cult dictated excommunication . Our sister was withdrawn from . Kicked out of our house (nothing i could do or say, could stop it. Not even heaps of tears). From that moment on, i wouldn’t get to see or talk with this sister again , until over another ten years had been and gone . That experience, shattered my ability to bond ,to trust

And yet ,that was just the start of what was soon to follow. Before i’d get to see this sister again, there would also be our other sister and her husband and our niece too, who would be next on the list what were excommunicated. Then next in line was one of my brothers as well . Three siblings excommunicated and disowned ,long before ten years had even passed by (I think it was only period of 8 years. Then another two years or so after that time,until it was then time that i would finally then decide to shoot the gap myself . To go try and reconnect. An impossible option. Too late)

My point is. Even although our mum was in fact a decent mum. We still didn’t have a chance to feel like we could bond .

The dictate of the Cult was overruling our chance to learn how to bond. Or trust

All of my siblings, and myself included as well. We all STILL have extremely great trouble bonding. Likewise with forming strong relationships . Likewise too, with our ability to trust people

I ask myself. How the hell can our governments sit back and allow this to be ALLOWED TO BE happening ?

Where is the accountability ?. Where is their sense of responsibility?

It amount to Government negligence

Makes me feel quite angry sometimes. I understand that i shouldn’t allow it to anger me. But yet it still does, sometimes.  Because the saddest part of all is this, this situation has gone on to even make life harder for ALL of our own children, AS WELL TOO

Vary little we could do to change any of that either. We didn’t stand that much of a chance. Did we?

WE NEEDED OUR GOVERNMENTS TO WAKE UP AND GET THEIR OWN FUCKING ACT TOGETHER

That’s what is been needed

We get one life on this earth. One chance to have a decent life.

That’s all

Freedom of religion. Religious liberty . That’s what they label it ?

What a farce . Pack of lies . Evil deceitful bullshit, what’s been backed by governments

They even reward our abusers . With CHARITY STATUS

How about that ?

The main reason those government people won’t bother to do anything about it. Is because it isn’t effecting their own families

Is it

Bad enough when dysfunction within families in general, is able to cause these kind of problems for people. That is bad luck

This kind of family dysfunction, like what Cult groups are able to force upon the lives of WHOLE GROUPS of people. Cannot be put down to a mere case of bad luck,

Can it?

Anymore than what we might declare, the effect of Hitler regime, had had on WHOLE GROUPS of holocaust survivors , could be called merely case of bad luck

We didn’t class that as being merely a case of bad luck .

Did we ?

No way. That would be lies. Bullshit . Unjust judgement 

How utterly irresponsible of our governments

Shame on them

Shame on Queen Elizabeth II too

Waste of time her going to Church of England ?

Fucking waste of time. As if she cares about righteousness and true justice ?

Anyway, there is so much more, within the rest of the video as well too, with what i can also closely relate to. Shockingly so. As well as certain things too, of what i see, do seem to relate to personality to do with my siblings

Generally speaking, a fair number of the negative aspects of this video, are fairly close description of my own families dysfunctional manner

It is not through bad luck that it happened to our family

Its happened to us, through our Governments irresponsibility 

Through lies about religious liberty

I hope to see a time arrive in future, when all ex cult members will rise up as one . Take a class action together against Governments, to sue them , for their negligence  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About ExEB

I'm a agnostic/atheist . Interested in learning more about science. I also am an "ex-member" of a group most publicly known within modern times, as the Exclusive Brethren. Whom are an off-shoot of the original Plymouth Brethren group. I'd say it likely my personality could possibly be described as quirky.You know ,as in being , unconventional , unorthodox , unusual, off-centre, strange, bizarre, weird, peculiar, odd, freakish, outlandish, offbeat, out of the ordinary, bohemian, alternative, zany I'm sure iv'e been classed as "crazy" . Many times But then, being born into a group like the exclusive brethren. Doesn't lend itself ? to tend to produce things considered as being "very normal" .Does it I escaped the Exclusive Brethren cult as a 15 year old teenager. Even since that time iv'e been trying to adjust to living life outside the cult. With much of my life being lived within the genre of "wild colonial boy" style. In the general sense of a church-rebel picking and choosing from role models who appeared within-life along the way. But as the exclusive brethren cult had traditionally maintained a general church-rule , of need to shun and totally excommunicate any ex member of their group.Treating such people as if they were dead. Thus this situation developed more to do with my need of following traditionally enforced church-rule , as apposed to it being so much about "life-choices". Certain emotional experiences, and parts of life in general, have led to me adopting a sense of low self esteem. Which is a situation i still deal with from time to time. Through my ongoing interest in science. I find i am able to gather more information to help me better understand my situation. Much about life for me, has often seemed like a massive puzzle.With many missing pieces.
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